monsters in real life
by overcrowdedbookshelf
Summary: Remember when you were little and your mother always told you that there was nothing in the dark and there were no monsters? Yeah me too, there may be no real furry creatures out there intent to kill us, but humans are just as capable.- a dark fic, did you think Cas was the perpetually good one while dean was the monster?
1. Chapter 1

Remember when you were little and your mother always told you that there was nothing in the dark and there were no monsters? Yeah me too, there may be no real furry creatures out there intent to kill us, but humans are just as capable. "Dean, take out the trash will you?" Maybe I haven't seen any monsters in real life, but I've also watched TV and I know about the criminals that live in the shadows.

"It's already dark out." Sam looked over and grinned at me, "It's not even my turn you little bitch." I get up and stalk to the kitchen.

"Jerk." I flip him off behind mom's back.

"It's dark out and cold." I knew mom wasn't the one making me do this, dad was just a coward and he knew that I wouldn't do anything he said.

Mom reached up and pinched my cheek, "Well maybe if you hurry you can be back right before the pie comes out." I grin at her and open up the door.

"Be right back!" I call.

To me I've never liked the dark, I'm not stupid I know nothing is going to reach out and grab me. I just don't like it. When I was little, Sam would always come running into my room, with tears running down his cheeks, and tell me about the monsters under his bed. I don't like things that upset him, which is why I haven't left yet. For the longest time I've wanted to leave, to travel the country and I haven't because Sam doesn't want me to leave. And for some reason I do everything that kid tells me. There are so many things that I could be doing right now and it hurts to be stuck in the country and I want to just scream. So I do. As soon as I open my mouth I hear sirens off in the distance. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and I look around to make sure there are no glowing eyes.

"God I hate this driveway." I'm nearly to the end of it, just twenty feet from the dumpster and I can barely feel my fingers, "This pie better be worth it."

The sirens are getting closer and I think that maybe I'll wait up here to see if they pass by. But the odds aren't in my favor, and my teeth are shivering so much I can hear it. There's movement off to the side of the road and I glare in that direction, it's too cold for bobcats to be out wandering this late. I shrug my shoulders and toss the trash into the dumpster and turn back towards home, and I almost yell again.

"Who are you?" there's a dark shadow in front of me and I can tell that it's a man. My voice cracks and I blame it on the cold. Maybe I should have kept working out after high school; I've kind of lost all my strength. Mainly because Bobby doesn't trust me working on cars yet…and great now he's moving closer to me.

I step back and almost trip over my own feet. "You wouldn't happen to know what state I'm in would you?" his voice is gravelly and I feel fear trickle down my spine."

"Uh, Kansas, how can you not know that?"

I can see the lights of the police cars and realization dawns on me, but not before I feel a gun pressed up against my stomach and a hand holding both of my wrists in his, "Well I've been a bit preoccupied at the moment," he jerks my arms and suddenly we're crouching down in the brush and I can feel his warm breath against my neck and the cold barrel digging into my side. "Keep real still now."

The cops speed past the end of the driveway and I feel him sigh behind me and I start to get up, but the sound of the gun clicking freezes me in my tracks, "Do you have a car?" I shiver and he seems to think this is answer enough, "Take me to it." It's not a question.

The walk back blurs before me and I hardly feel the cold, suddenly the porch is right in front of me and I can't seem to get my feet to work. "It's my dad's car."

"Go in there and get the keys."

I start to turn to him, "But-"

"Now."

Mom is just cutting the pie into four's and Sam is sitting at the counter with flour on his nose. She smiles at me when I come in and I see dad sitting in the living room drinking a beer. I go over to him. "Hey dad?"

"What is it you want now?"

My hands are shaking and I look down at the floor, "Could I borrow the car real quick?"

He doesn't answer, instead the TV blares on and I continue to stare at the floor, just when I'm about to ask again he speaks up, "What for?"

"Uh, Bobby called me and he's pretty drunk, I should go check on him."

"I don't like Bobby; he's just an old drunk."

Mom walks over and hands a slice of pie to dad, "What's this about"

"Dean's got it in his mind that I should let him borrow the car."

There's a noise outside and Sam looks at the door, "Did you guys hear that."

"No!" I say it a little louder than I meant to and everyone looks at me like I've grown a second head.

Mom lays her hand on my shoulder and I look at her, "What's so important you have to leave at 8:30 at night?"

This time the noise is louder. "Alright, Dean go check what's outside and I'll think about letting you drive my car."

I don't move; my eyes are glued to the door. "Boy I said to go check outside."

Slowly I get up and walk to the kitchen door and I can't hide the shaking in my hands, mom comes over to me, "Honey what's wrong?" my hand is on the knob now and I can see the strange man just standing on the porch, right in front of the door. I do not like the look in his eyes.

I turn back to dad, for one last chance, "Dad-"

The door slams open behind me and mom steps back, I try to go to her but he's there again, right behind me and I feel the cold metal press into my skull this time. "Keys sir?" his voice is formal, almost as if he's at a meeting and not holding a gun to my head.

"Who the hell-" dad starts, but the man interrupts him.

"Winchester, right? Well right now you don't need to know my name, as you can see your son's clock is winding down."

"Dean!" my mom calls and starts towards me. I can't see him, but I'm sure he fixes her with a look and she stops.

"I won't ask again. Keys?"

"Counter." Dad sounds mad; I look at the counter and see Sam sitting right next to the keys.

The man moves behind me and I can tell he's seen Sam, "Little one, give them to your big brother."

For once I pray for Sam to not be a little bitch and do what he's told, "Dean?" I nod my head barely and press my eyes closed, I hear him get up and then his hand is in mine and I feel the cool metal.

"Back up."

I open my eyes and Sam's right in front of me; he still hasn't let go, "It's alright Sammy,"

I look up at my parents and I noticed Dad has moved beside mom, holding her steady, "You've got what you wanted, let him go now."

One of his hands tightens around my arm and I'm being forced outside, the gun digging deeper into my scalp. The man behind me is outside the house now, and I know that I'm going with him and there's nothing I can do to change it, "Mom," she's crying now, "I love you." And then I'm outside and the screen door is banging closed and I hear my mom start yelling and I see Sam start for the door and the click of the gun.

He pushes me into the Car and gets in beside me, it looks weird to have him sitting behind the steering wheel, the last thing I remember is my dad's shotgun being fired and the man reaching back and hitting me with the butt of his gun.


	2. Chapter 2

The first thing I remember when waking up is the loud singing, I smiled thinking that Sam had woken up first. Then my eyes opened and I was in the impala and Sam wasn't the one sitting next to me. "Oh, you've woken up." This was the first time I get to actually see the man and he looked completely normal, handsome even. I shoved down my thoughts about his eyes, it was wrong. "I was about to push you out into some ditch, there's no use of a dead hostage."

"So that's what I am?" I'm surprised my voice worked.

The man shrugged his shoulders, "I guess, just until I get to where I'm going then-" he ran his finger across his throat. Great now I taste last night's dinner, my hands begin to sweat and I can't feel my surroundings. My breath comes to me in short bursts and soon black dots swirl in my vision, "Dean?" the man pulls to car over and slides next to me, "Are you alright?" He's so close to me, and he knows that I'm not fine. God this is where I die.

I start to hyperventilate and my right hand grabs the dash.

I might have passed out after that.

The next time I wake up its quiet and I remember where I am and what I am, a hostage who's bound to die.

"Dean, don't freak out." A hand touches me and I jump, "I'm not going to hurt you."

I can't help it, I laugh.

The hand moves away and I look up at him, it's dark out now, I've been gone for almost a whole day; I wonder if they're looking for me. "I'm not, Dean." The hand is back on my shoulder and I mover as far away from him as I can.

"Stop."

"I'm Castiel by the way." He smiles and my eyes go wide, why did it have to be him? Couldn't it have been any other mass murdering/part time disfiguring/running from the cops man? "Oh you know me! Great, well it's been a long day and I'm bushed."

"…alright."

"I'm going to take a quick nap." He grins at me, for the first time I realize that my hands are handcuffed together. He sees me looking, "I can't have you running off now." Castiel takes off his jacket, underneath he's wearing a white button up shirt, there's blood on the sleeve. It doesn't look like his.

I can tell when he's asleep, but I wait a few minutes just to be safe. The doors on the impala squeak too much for me to try and run off, but I could always knock him out and leave him here, tell the cops later. I feel pressure behind my eyes and I know I'm going to cry, so I do. I let everything out. "I'm never going to see Sammy again, or mom." My whisper is so loud I flinch, but Castiel doesn't move. I sit up in my seat and wipe at my cheeks, it's hard to do much of anything with my hands tied together, but I manage to piece myself back together. There's a crow bar in the glove box.

After I close the glove box, I wrap the metal in my hands. Castiel moves in his sleep and I panic, I cannot die here. I don't even know where I am. I stare at him for a long time, and even though I've been asleep for basically all day my eye lids begin to grow heavy. I blink furiously; he's only been out for about an hour.

I can't bring myself to do it; I've never been into hurting people.

"You could hurt yourself with that." Castiel's deep voice shocks me and I drop the crow bar. He opens his eyes and sits up, "And here I thought I could trust you."

"I'm sorry." My heart is racing and I back up against the door.

He sighs, "It's fine, we should get going." He starts the engine, I don't move. "Sit right Dean."

I do.

"Hand me the crow bar Dean."

I don't even hesitate.

He rolls down the window and throws it on the road, "Are you afraid of me Dean?"

"You're a murderer." My words shake in my throat and I ball my firsts in my lap, "Why wouldn't I be?"

He's driving without the lights on and I can't help and think that he's going to hurt the impala, "I've never killed anyone you knew right?"

"That doesn't-"

Castiel puts his hand on my leg and I sit perfectly still, "I haven't abused you right?" I can tell the 'not yet' is implied.

In the morning my stomach rumbles so loud that it's obvious that Castiel heard it, "You like diner food?"

He steer's us into some random roadside truck stop and I see a glimpse of freedom, I could get someone to help me, maybe make a scene. There are too many people in there for him to take control of, right?

We sit down in a back booth, Castiel doesn't seem to look nervous and this makes me nervous. I try to remember what all I read about him online. My mind draws a blank; I look up to see him staring at me. "Order whatever you like."

The waitress comes up right then, I give her one of my most charming smiles and she ignores me, "What can I get for you?" her voice is gruff and I'm pretty sure she has more of a mustache than I could even grow.

"I'll take a burger." Castiel hands her the menu and she turns on me.

"Same." She leaves with an eye roll.

Castiel turns to me and I'm surprised my skin doesn't crawl, "You know if you continue to stare at me like that and order like me people are bound to think we're together."

"We are together." He laughs and I feel left out of the joke, "What?" I snap

Castiel reaches across the table and grabs my hand and holds it, "I meant this kind of together you idiot farm boy." He drops my hand and I feel myself blush, hopefully he doesn't notice.

We sit in silence for a long time, and even after our food comes and we begin to eat I keep my head down and avoid just looking near him. "You don't have to be afraid of me."

I don't look at him, "Why shouldn't I be, you said that after you get to where you're going to…you'll kill me."

Castiel sighs dramatically, "Yeah well you don't have to be afraid of me right now."

"I don't think you understand." He doesn't answer me after that. The waitress comes back and hands Castiel the ticket, I see her give us a strange look and I guess it does look like we're together.

When we're leaving I tell him I have to go to the bathroom and he tells me to meet him in the car. Our waitress comes back and asks me is everything's alright and for some reason, I lie. "Just looking for your bathroom." She smiles, and points me down a hallway.

I get back to the car a few minutes later and I can't help but wonder why on earth I just gave up my first and probably only chance at getting free. I tell myself it's because he knows where my family lives and he could probably find me anyways. The truth is, and I try to not even think about it, I just have no idea why I came back to this car. And it scared me.


	3. Chapter 3

It's been three days now, and five states. I don't know it this is good time for crossing the country; I just know that we aren't taking the most direct path. And when I asked Castiel about it he just told me to find a better station. We haven't really spoken to each other since the diner. Sometimes it seems like he's going to say something and then he'll shut his mouth. I don't really care, either way I'm not getting the good side of the deal so what's the point?

We're just reaching the Colorado boarder at the southeastern side when Castiel mentions something about being tired. I look at the map, even though I know nothing is going to be close by. But I don't want to spend another night sleeping in the impala with him. Since the first night I reached into the glove box he's more wary of me.

Castiel likes to sleep safe, and one way is to pin me against the back seat with his body. It's too stuffy and he smells. I mean I bet I do to. I haven't showered since that morning, and he can't be any better. He likes to turn and face me, so I have to feel his hot breath against me and the only thing I can think of is how he's going to kill me…well that's what I think about 99% of the time. My stupid body gets the better of me sometimes.

He pulls off onto some dirt road and parks the impala out of sight of the highway and motions for me to get in the back.

I take longer than necessary.

In the back we scrunch up and I try to not think about our bad breath because I might throw up what I had for dinner yesterday. Thinking about Dinner my stomach growls and I try and turn away from him.

"Sorry about no food today." His deep voice breaks the silence and scares me. I jump, "Sorry." He says again, like him saying it will make everything better.

"It's fine," I lie, and it sounds like a lie, "I'm use to giving whatever's there to my brother." Not a lie, but shocking that I said it out loud.

"Yeah, I saw how close you two were, its sweat."

I almost say I miss him, but I hold it back. He doesn't care what I'm feeling. And I don't care what I'm feeling, none of it matters anymore. I could come out if I wanted to, but no one that I care about is here. It seems like nothing I do will make much difference anymore.

And it's those thoughts that send me over the edge, I break down and cry. Not loud crying, just silent tears make their way down and onto the leather seats. My last thoughts before I fell asleep were of Sam, I was wondering if he was going to get the part in that play he tried out for. I hope he does, I hope he gets up on stage and doesn't mess up.

In the morning I wake up before he does and I want out. It's hot, not to mention smelly, and um most guys have things in the morning that makes it uncomfortable to be pressed up against something if you're not going to…well…

"Castiel." He opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"You know how in Harry Potter he had a friend called Oliver Wood?" I just sat there in silence wondering where this was going, "Well if his girlfriend, or boyfriend, never went good morning wood, then it's a damn shame."

The first diner we see Castiel pulls over and he smiles at me again, "I figured you were still hungry."

"Yeah, because not eating has always kept me full before."

We don't say much after that.

The waitress doesn't assume we're together this time.

He orders for me.

My panic begins to rise again.

Surely we're closer to the end now.

I'll never see Sammy again.

I don't remember our food coming, or even me eating. I just remember being back in the car and the sun still behind us in the morning sky. I find a classic rock station and I find myself humming along to deep purple."You know this song?"

I look over at Castiel who's not looking at the road, "Yeah, I don't think I know any of the new music, the new music isn't that good anyways."

"I'm just surprised you know this, considering how young you are."

"I'm nineteen." I fire back, then I blink. I just yelled at a mass murderer who has my life in the palm of his hands.

But he doesn't seem to notice, "Well I'm thirty so forgive me, I haven't been like you in a long time."

"You mean not a homicidal maniac?" seriously what the fuck is wrong with me?

He doesn't answer for a while. Then, "Just so you know, I never wanted this. I was never going to kill anyone. It's my brothers who made me-made me kill. I'm all alone, all the time and the only thing I know how to do is run and how to stab you in the lungs and separate your spinal cord in one go."

"The news never said anything about you having brothers?"

Castiel laughed, "Of course it wouldn't, my brothers…they're many things but they weren't stupid. When I was younger my dad loved all of us. But they got jealous and one day dad was dead, that was the first time I ever saw someone die. So instead of blaming each other they saw fit to blame me, I was the youngest after all; but I never knew they blamed me. Why would you have your slaughter monkey on your level? If it knew you wanted to rip its heart out the monkey wouldn't turn tricks."

"So what did they do?" no matter how hard I tried I was trapped in his story.

Castiel looked over at me, and for the first time he seemed crazy, "They had fun, a few killings here, a few there. Sometimes even they would bring someone home and drag it out. That was always the worst. I was thirteen the first time that happened. I couldn't sleep, and when I tried to tell them that they made me sit and watch. And the next time I had to do it just like they did, and if I got something wrong then they would show me the right way. They would carve it into me so I wouldn't ever forget."

"So why has the news never talked about them?"

"Because I killed them, I made them all watch as I tore them apart. They taught me how to go slow, so slow that I could pull out your beating heart and show it to you, it would still be pumping even though the blood would have nowhere to go."

"I'm going to be sick." Or that's what I tried to say, I think my vomit got in the way of most of it.

Castiel pulled over to the side of the road and walked around to the passenger side, "I'm sorry." Again I don't know why he's apologizing, but at least he's not killing me. "I keep forgetting that I'm not alone, I'm use to just being by myself. I think having you around is helping with my sanity." He tells me to move my legs and I do. A serial killer is cleaning up my vomit.

"I feel bad." I'm whining and I know it.

Castiel sighs and wipes his hands on his pants and stands up, it's about midday and the sun's hot. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to find a motel, we could both use a shower." He stands up and when he gets back in the impala he starts her up and we're sitting in a motel parking lot, "Come on," he opens my door for me and I start to feel a little better, but my first step sends me almost back down to the ground."

Again Castiel sighs and bends down and helps me up, "There wasn't any double beds left, just a queen."

"Thank you." It would be better than heaving him pressed right up against me.

I'm first in the shower, but my heads pounding too much so I just sit down and let the hot water pour over me. It feels like forever in the shower, but this is the first time I've been alone for a long time and forgive me for cherishing it.

When I get out there's still hot water but there's no way I'm getting back into my dirty clothes. I bet more than half of my stink came from them, but when I look for them they're gone. I venture out, in just a towel, into the room and see Castiel field stripping his guns. He looks up at me, "I put your clothes and mine into a washer, and they'll be done in a few minutes." It's starting to get cold.

He gets up and comes towards me, I back up. "There's plenty of hot water."

"I bet there is." He holds up a pair of handcuffs and holds out his other hand for one of my wrists, "Now I know you wouldn't be stupid enough to run, but insurance policies demand a constant eye."

He chains me to the bed and I can't even move to draw the covers up around me. After ten minutes or so there's a knock on the door and a maid comes in, "Oh sorry sir," She's staring at my cuff's, "I'll just…" she goes to set down our clothes and leave.

"Wait!" the shower's still running, the maid jumps, "Can you help me, please?" I can hear how pathetic I sound and she stares at me, "Please."

She picks up the key on the dresser then comes over to me, "You're boyfriend seemed nice, did he do this?"

"He's not my boyfriend, please hurry." She must pick up on something because her movements become faster and I feel hope rise in my chest, "Thank you so much for doing this. You don't know what it's been like; my name is Dean by the way."

"I'm Heidi."

I never heard the shower turn off, I never heard his footsteps, but I heard the sound of Heidi chocking on her own blood, "I thought you were different Dean, I thought-" she fell on top of me, I felt her warm blood and I almost threw up again, "Now look what I had to do."

Castiel picked up Heidi's body and snatched up my towel from around my waist. He laid out the towel so it would absorb the blood, then he turned on me. I pulled my knees up to my bare chest to hide my nakedness. "Please-"

"Please what?" he yelled.

"Please do it fast." I closed my eyes and waited to die.

He stepped towards me, his knife still in his hand, "Do what fast?" his free hand grabbed the back of my neck and he slammed my head against the headboard. "There are many things you should never do fast your first time." Then his lips were on mine and I could feel the cool metal slide down my stomach; it didn't draw any blood. He dropped the knife and backed away from me. "Cover yourself up." He tossed the bundle of clothes at me and picked up the body, "I'll be back in ten minutes, I swear if you're gone I will hunt you down like the wounded animal you are." And then he was out of the room and I still was pressed up against the headboard expecting him to come back and cut my lungs out.

I get dressed quickly and sit down on the bed again.

"You should sleep; if I push it tomorrow can be our last long drive." Castiel closed the door behind him, he mistook my nervousness, "Don't worry, the cops won't find the body." I don't move, my eyes are fixed on a spot on the wall. "Damn it Dean, at least get under the covers so I can sleep."

"You didn't have to do it." That was the first time I had ever seen anything die, I've never hunted Bambi or anything else, it was a lot different than how they show it on TV.

Castiel got back off the bed and stood in front of me, "Alright I'm sorry for kissing you, it was an accident."

"Not that! Heidi."

"So kissing you was ok?"

I felt my stomach flop, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Is it because I'm a dude?"

"What? No, it's just…you're a killer."

"So you're fine with guys?" Castiel winked and stepped right up against me, I moved further back until my back was against the wall, "You said earlier that you wanted to go fast, is this fast enough for you."

"No, Cas please-"

"What?" he rolled his hips into mine and I bit my lip, "Oh, or have you done this before?" when I didn't answer it was answer enough, "Are you a slut Dean." Castiel bent his neck down and started to nibble on my neck and make his way up; his hips were still rocking into mine and damn it I was going to say something. I curled my hands into hair and I moaned in his ear.

"No." I managed to mutter, he froze and my body hated me, "Cas you just killed someone."

"I'm over it," his eyes turned serious, "Dean I've been alone for so long, all by myself; I don't want to be alone anymore." He bit at my lip and my knees weakened, "Just tell me no, Dean that's all you have to do. Just because I want this doesn't mean you have to. You have a choice in this." His voice, already deep, dropped an octave. My mind was screaming no, but I wanted more. Oh God so much more; and I could have it.

"No."


	4. Chapter 4

"Christmas is in two weeks." Castiel was sitting on the ground in front of the impala and I was as sitting next to him, our knees touched every now and then.

Sometimes I found myself comfortable around him, but then I remembered who he was; Heidi wasn't the only person I've seen him kill. That man from yesterday made four and ever since that first time he's offered me the same deal. We could fuck; killing seemed to make him horny. "Cas bud, I wouldn't be expecting much from our friend in the north. You're not exactly on the nice list."

Castiel laughed and so did I, "Yeah well I've actually been better since you've been around, who knows, maybe I'll just keep you around forever. Like my own personal conscience."

"You're 'spose to have one already." I bumped his knee again, "Although you do listen to good music so I'll give you points."

We were in California, northern California and we were close to the sea. I could smell it. But he said he didn't want to see anyone else and if I were him I wouldn't want to either. I had no idea where we were going, or if he even had somewhere to go to, but as long as we were driving he liked my company and that meant I got to live just a little bit longer. He was a good person to hang out with too. "You want to do anything special for Christmas? We could go up in the mountains with the snow."

I shrugged, "Before this I've never left Lawrence, Kansas. I love snow though."

He smiled, "Mountains it is, but for obvious reasons don't expect a present."

My smile faltered, this Christmas Sammy and I were going to go around and sing carols. I didn't want to but that little shit has always wanted too and mom said he could this year. He was old enough to be a little shit and not want to sleep at nine. And mom always baked for one whole day, I would even help her some. Dad would play outside with us and we'd toss a football around and he'd tell us stories about when he was younger. Also, since we didn't have any other living family we would eat all the food ourselves and it was too much but it was good and it was warm and it was safe and I would never get to do that again.

"Dean?" Castiel gripped my shoulder.

"No." there was no use lying, I was never very good at it anyways. "I miss my family," there was a hole next to me and I started to pick at it, "Christmas is Christmas, you know? And it's been over a month and I'm betting the cops consider me dead and I know there's no point in trying to run or leave, I just miss them." I bet if the cops don't have any good leads, and they've closed the case, then mom hasn't talked since she found out, I know that Sam wouldn't sleep in our room. Not at first anyways. It would be hard for him to go in there. Dad would probably be the best, he was always the best at hiding his emotions; that's what he always wanted me to do, men weren't about talking and sharing.

"We could decorate a tree, I haven't done that since my dad was alive, I was maybe…eleven then? Anyways it'll be fun." He shoved my shoulder, "But if we do then we'll need an angel topper and a few decorations, feel like going in public?"

"Yeah." Not really.

Later that day, around dusk we found a Wal Mart and we casually made our way to the Christmas section. A lady in a blue shirt came up to us and asked us if we needed any help; I felt Cas put his hand on my arm and I could feel him right behind me. "Well it's our first Christmas and we're just looking for a few things for our tree." His voice was happy and I bet if I turned around I would see a smile on his face.

The girl smiled at us, we're in California after all, and this was one of the first places to legalize gay marriage. "Well that's two isles over, Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas!" Cas and I said at the same time. the worker smiled even bigger and went on her way.

We went to the isle with the decorations and I couldn't help but ask, "So what's with the friendly act over there?"

"When you think serial killer do you think gay?" Cas picked up an object and tossed it back to the shelf.

I picked it back up and set it back down too, "Well Moriarity did seem to obsess over Sherlock, and so did the Joker but he had Harley." Castiel just stared at me, "Dude where ever we go has to have a TV because you suck at pop culture references." He shrugged and continued on his search for the perfect tree topper, "What about this one?" I held up a fluffy angel with a pretty face.

"Not even remotely good enough." I swear we spent an hour like that. In the end he decided on a simple angel with white wings and black lights underneath, so when you plugged it in the wings looked to be black and dark. It fit him perfectly.

He pointed to a box of decorations and we checked out. "We can stay at a motel tonight, if you want."

"Well you do kind of smell." I joked and he smiled

I laughed and he turned serious again, "I'm going to go out then."

I looked out the window.

"I read in the paper that there's a known rapist in this town, he picks up young guys at bars and takes them out back. He's killed a few too; I'd be doing everyone a favor." He turned onto another road, "It's not like he's a good person."

"You could just drop him off at the police station." Castiel laughed but it wasn't his normal laugh. "You wouldn't be able to get him anyways; you said he goes after young guys."

"I'll watch for anyone suspicious."

"Since when did you start picking people like this, I thought it was just someone at random." I hated how I could talk about this so easily.

Castiel shrugged, "Maybe you're being a good influence on me Dean."

"You don't have to kill people; don't you worry about your soul? I'm not a huge believer but there has to be some kind of supernatural power going on out there."

"You were raised to brush your teeth and wash your hands and say nice things. I was raised like an executioner."

Just like every other time Cas went out he chained me to the bed and left the do not disturb sign on the door. And just like every other time I had to sit in the dark with nothing to do other than think of the person losing their life today, even though this guy is bad he could maybe be reformed. No one deserves to be killed; I even bet Cas will go slow.

I hate how I know this.

By the clock on the wall I've been chained up for over two hours, this is how the second one went. Castiel didn't get back until almost morning. He didn't have one drop of blood on him, but I could tell what he had done. And when he came back he was more persistent than any other time and it was hard to say no because he liked to play with his knife that night. It's hard to hate him, I'm stuck in the car with him for almost every second of every day and he has a nice personality and he's handsome. I don't know how many more times I can hold out.

It's not like he would be my first. I've known for some time that I've liked everyone the same; guys, girls it didn't matter, I just didn't want to feel anything for Cas, I wanted to go home. And if I went home I would never leave again. My mother wouldn't let me and my father sure as hell wouldn't like me bringing home a guy. Sometimes it's weird but I like being out here, I like being away from Kansas. It was like I was born to be on the road, to travel and never settle. I love the sound of the impala, I love everything about her actually. Not only her curves are sharp lines and the chrome in all the right places, but also what's underneath the hood. All the guts she has is perfect and when my dad first let me help work on cars I nearly lost my mind from how awesome everything fit together.

Someone's shaking my shoulder and I wake up to Castiel hovering over me, "Sleeping." I mutter and try and turn away from him.

"Can I sleep in this bed."

"What's wrong with the other one?" he's waking me up more and more and soon I might not be able to fall back asleep.

Castiel slides over and crawls under the covers next to me, "I don't like big beds to myself."

"If you fucking kick me in your sleep again I will push you off." I roll over and shut my eyes. I hear Cas laugh and it makes me angry. I'm tired and I don't function well when tired. I sit up and glare at him, "What's so funny? And don't you dare try and jump me in the middle of the night, I love sleep almost as much as I love sex." really I shouldn't talk within the first hour of waking up.

"I'm not going to ask you anymore Dean, it's obvious you don't want to and I find it funny the way you talk with your voice broken and horse from lack of sleep and your words are so blunt compared to how you normally shelter your words around me." Cas smiled again and closed him eyes, "You can sleep easy Dean, your honor will remain intact for another night."

"Damn right it will."


End file.
